1. Saves You Money
The most obvious reason to go to mediation is that it reduces your legal expenses. Litigation is expensive. There are deadlines, Rules of Procedure that most be followed, and lots of paperwork involved all of which increases your legal fees exponentially. It is not uncommon for a contested divorce case to cost well over $15,000 for each side and this amount can double or triple depending upon the size of the estate and the confrontations surrounding children. In many cases, this is money that could be used to pay down debts, use as a down payment on a home, invest in other opportunities, or even save for your kids. If you are considering a divorce, you will want to stress to your divorce lawyer that you want to go to mediation as soon as possible in order to try to resolve your case quickly.
2. Low Stress Environment
When the you attend mediation it will normally be at the Mediators office or at one of the attorneys offices. Contrary to what most people believe, you will rarely see your spouse at mediation. Family Law mediation is different than regular civil case mediation. In many civil cases involving contractual disputes and other business related issues, the parties will often times meet jointly to freely discuss their positions. In the civil environment its primarily about money and business decisions and not as emotional as family law. In family cases, it’s the opposite. An experienced mediator normally will not even suggest that the parties meet jointly because they know that emotions can take over and ruin the possibility of a settlement. Therefore, the parties will almost always remain in separate areas with their attorney and the mediator will go back and forth between rooms helping the parties reach a binding resolution. Many spouses get extremely worked up and anxious when they think they will have to see their spouse and discuss division of the estate, child custody issues, and child support. Your mind should be put to ease known that virtually no family law mediator will suggest that, and even if they did, your divorce lawyer can simply tell them its not a good idea to meet jointly and that will resolve the issue. For the most part, while mediation is by no means a fun experience, it is relaxed, and certainly less stressful than going to trial.
3. Avoids Confrontation
As stated above, you will not have to meet with your spouse jointly in mediation and that in and of itself will reduce the risk of confrontation. However, if litigation needs to progress to multiple hearings and even a trial, you will constantly be subjected to attacks, exaggerations and even lies. The other attorney will do their best to paint you as a terrible spouse and/or a parent that is not fit to have the children live with them primarily or even worse, a parent that needs to be denied possession of their children. This of course requires you and your attorney to attack back and defend the allegations. It is a very stressful experience that takes place in a public form with people in the audience sometimes watching and in many cases waiting for their turn to be put on the spot.
4. Constructive Approach
Mediation allows for the parties to think outside the box and structure deals in a way that can help address the risks and concerns that the other party may have. This of course increases the chance of making a deal, but also it can help ensure that this deal is never challenged in the future. When people are scared or feel they were taken advantage of or done wrong, they will look for legal options to try and change the result, get even, or at least improve their perceptions of the problem. By taking the time to consider each parties perspectives and concerns, a better deal can be made that allows the parties to feel some form of satisfaction and certainty of the results. You will not get this same opportunity at trial.
5. Increases Settlement Options
Since mediation is more constructive you will substantially increase the options available to you to resolve the marital disputes. Additionally, in many cases you can make deals for things that you would never get at trial based on the law and/or the judges own preferences and biases. For example, some parents want to do a 50/50 custody split with things like a week on / week off schedule which many judges may be reluctant to do. If you make such a deal at mediation, the judge will approve your Divorce even though they never would have made such a ruling. If you go to trial on the other hand, the judge will make a ruling based on limited time, exaggerated evidence, and brief testimony by you, your spouse and other witnesses, and their will be little you can do to try and change it. You and your spouse are in the best position to know each other’s situations as well as what is best for your kids, and turning those major life decisions over to a judge is usually best to avoid. Lastly, you can make deals at mediation that a judge legally cannot order. For example, the law in Texas states that the court cannot divide another party’s “separate property” however, at mediation you can essentially make whatever deal you want to which increases your legal options that you wouldn’t get at trial. Additionally, mediation allows you time to craft an agreement versus at trial a judge may make a ruling immediate after they hear the evidence and very little thought will be put into the details.
6. Preserves Relationships
This reason may not be very important to you if you and your spouse do not have children, but in divorces involving children, trying to preserve a relationship is key to staying out of court in the future. Some spouses are in and out of court every few years fighting over custody related issues like support, conservatorship, possession and access, geographical restrictions, medical decisions and the list goes on and on. Any divorce lawyer that doesn’t warn you about this is probably not looking out for your best interest. There are somethings that can happen in a divorce that cannot be forgotten afterwards. If you exaggerate claims against them or exploit weaknesses and insecurities unfairly such as certain mental illness or disability problems, you may inflict wounds that will never heal and as well as inflame a desire in your spouse to “get even.” Sometimes you cannot avoid airing all the negative traits of your spouse but mediation at least allows you the option of keeping those things private until there are no other options available. It also prevents your family members, friends, co-workers, doctors, counselors, your kids teachers, and even your boss from being ordered to come to court and testify in your divorce. It can be embarrassing and clearing damaging on your career and social life. Never think that mediation is a waste of time, it is actually one of the best legally resources you have to dissolve the marriage peacefully.
If you or a loved one is facing a Divorce Suit or Child Custody Suit in Montgomery, Harris, Walker and Surrounding counties, we can help you. Contact The Woodlands | Spring Family Lawyers at Davis Legal, PCfor a Free Case Evaluation. To learn more, please read other blog posts or visit our Divorceand Child CustodyPages.
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